In The Head Lights - Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to the astounding J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Phew, this chapter was hard to write. I knew what I wanted to say, just not how to say it at all. I know it may seem like the story is going quickly, but there is still a way to go. After all, it is only Halloween, and the drama has been lacking. I hope this chapter lives up to expectations (both yours and mine) because I had a difficult time expressing myself, as I mentioned. Thanks go to all of my lovely reviewers, as always, because you keep me going and motivated, and without you this story would have died about five chapters ago. Anyway, back to the story…

***

“Kiss me.”

To Hermione, the prospect of not kissing Draco seemed ludicrous, so as she placed her hands behind his neck and intertwined her fingers, she had no regrets.

Draco lowered his head until their lips were mere millimeters apart. Electricity seemed to radiate between them, and Hermione was the one who closed the distance. As soon as his lips touched hers, it felt like his whole body was on fire.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, something was niggling at Hermione, telling her this was wrong and that she was still with Ron, but she didn’t care. For the time being, all her defenses were down. She pressed her lips against Draco’s and felt more carefree than she ever had. Her hands moved to his hair which felt soft under her fingers, and she caressed the back of his head slowly.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to both of them, their lips broke apart, but their bodies did not.

“Wow,” Hermione whispered as she reached a hand to her lips.

“Yeah,” Draco said, utterly lost for words.

“We probably should…”

“Oh, yeah, ‘course.”

They disengaged and stepped back from each other, but Draco took Hermione’s hand. She looked up at him, happiness mingled with regret on her face. They let go of each other briefly to put their masks back on but held hands again as they returned to the Great Hall, walking in silence.

Their return was unnoticed, as most couples were dancing wildly to the music.

“I’m going to go and get us some drinks,” Draco murmured to Hermione, and she nodded, letting him slip away through the crowds. She sat down on a nearby seat, trying to sort out the mess that was her heart.

***

Hermione slept late the next morning, having stayed up late crying about her confusion. She hated love and she hated knowing what she had to do, because it broke her heart to do it. At eleven o’clock she managed to drag herself out of bed and into the shower where she washed her tear stained cheeks. The water seemed to wash away some of her sadness as well, because when she stepped out of the shower she seemed much lighter than she had earlier.

Seeing it was Sunday and the castle was no doubt going to be a very slow place today, she just pulled on some comfortable clothes, those being her oversized jumper and some dark jeans. She slipped her feet into some ballet flats and let her hair hang loosely behind her back. Dragging her feet along the ground, Hermione made her way to the Gryffindor common room and entered reluctantly.

Ginny was lying on the couch in front of the fire reading, with her head in Harry’s lap. Harry waved and smiled at Hermione when she walked in, and Hermione looked around for Ron.

“Where is he?” she asked, knowing full well that Harry knew who she meant.

“Oh, um, he’s up in the dormitory. He’s pretty damn angry, just to let you know,” Harry warned her.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. He has every right to be,” Hermione grimaced as she stood up and climbed the spiral staircase up to the seventh year boy’s dormitory.

The walk seemed to take an eternity, and when she got there she saw Ron sitting at the foot of his bed. He looked up at her with an oddly strained look on his face, as though he was trying to smile but failing miserably.

“Hi…” Hermione said awkwardly. “Can I sit down?” Ron nodded, so Hermione sat in one of the large armchairs and crossed her legs beneath her. “Look, I don’t know how to say this, so I suppose I’m going to have to just come right out and say it. I don’t love you the way I used to. I don’ think this is going to work between us,” Hermione blurted out, the words coming out before she knew what she was saying.

Ron, as though he knew this was coming, nodded but remained silence with that same strained look on his face.

“I’ll just…go,” Hermione turned to walk out of the room.

“Is this because of him?” Ron said suddenly, his voice low and dangerous.

“No, this is because of me,” Hermione said smiling sadly, and walked from the dormitory before Ron could see the tears which had formed in her eyes.

***

Time seemed to pass slowly.

Hermione spent the rest of the day in her room. She cried for hours until her tears dried up, at which point she just lay, staring at the canopy of her bed until she deemed it a suitable time to fall asleep. When she slept it was restless. She tossed and turn amidst dreams of Ron morphing into Draco and back again, dreams of Ron chasing after her, and dreams of kissing Draco in the garden again.

When she woke it was still dark outside, but Hermione couldn’t sleep nor wallow any longer. She rolled out of bed, determined to make today a good day, and went purposefully to the bathroom. After washing her hair under the hot water, she felt much better, and decided that whenever she felt sorry for herself she would take a shower.

It was barely five thirty, Hermione soon discovered, so she decided to waste the time away with a cup of coffee and her Potions essay which she had yet to finish. Working in the cool silence of the common room with only the quiet ticking of the clock, Hermione finished the essay quickly, her quill gliding over the parchment with ease. When she finally finished the clock struck seven, and Hermione heard Draco’s feet on the steps down towards to the common room.

She didn’t look up as he entered the room, instead becoming incredibly fascinated by her quill.

“Are you…”

After a few moments, Hermione looked around. “No, I’m not okay. But I will be.”

“Oh. Good. Do you-“

“No, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we please just have a quiet breakfast?” Hermione said, her warm chocolate eyes meeting Draco’s cold grey ones. He nodded, so Hermione turned away from him, facing the kitchen and trying to keep her emotions under control. She heard Draco leave the room and the water in his room start, and she let the breath she had been holding in out in a rush.

Twenty minutes later, Draco emerged from his bedroom wearing his school clothes and running a towel through his damp hair. Hermione fought the urge not to look at him, but she failed. Luckily for her Draco didn’t notice and couldn’t make any of the snide remarks he always made when he caught her watching him.

“It looks good,” was all he said as he sat down and took a sip of coffee.

They ate in silence, avoiding each other’s gaze and keeping their eyes on their food. After finishing their meals, however, they couldn’t avoid each other. They both had to finish the same work for Charms, and once they had finished that they had Ancient Runes together. They walked side by side, once again in silence, and it astounded Hermione that Draco had nothing to say. When they sat side by side in class, they faced the front, but Draco kept sneaking glances at Hermione.

He couldn’t figure her out. Was she mad at him? Had he done anything to provoke her? He had been mulling these thoughts over all of Sunday as he heard her crying in her room. Surely she couldn’t be upset about the kiss. She must have felt the electricity which pumped through them during it, and he couldn’t see anything wrong with it.

“Mr Malfoy, would you mind coming back down to Earth. I asked you what the translation of this rune was,” Professor Babbling snapped, bringing Draco out of his reverie.

“Oh, um…”

“Serpent,” Hermione hissed out of the corner of her mouth, and Draco took the lifeline gratefully.

“Serpent,” he said confidently, and Professor Babbling frowned before telling him he was correct. “Thanks,” he added hastily in an undertone to Hermione, who flashed him a quick smile. He watched her work in silence, the way her curls framed her face, how her brow knitted together whenever she didn’t understand something, and how she sucked on the tip of her quill when she wasn’t sure how to word something.

After a few minutes she caught him looking, and a coy smile spread across her face. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, nothing like that,” Draco chuckled, shaking his head as he turned back to his work. “Did…did I do something wrong?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

“Why would you think that?” Hermione asked, her face contorted into a blank mask.

“You spent all of yesterday in your room, crying your eyes out by the sound of it, and you only left for a few minutes and when you came back you were crying again. Did I do something at the ball to upset you?”

“It wasn’t you who did anything,” Hermione said shortly, keeping her eyes on her work.

“Then what’s wrong? Talk to me, I can help you,” Draco pleaded, taking her hand. She had found a spot in his heart which he never knew existed, and it pained him to see her hurting.

“For the last time, I don’t want to talk about it!” Hermione snapped, her voice getting shrill.

“Miss Granger! Are you quite alright, or do you need to excuse yourself?” Professor Babbling asked angrily.

“I apologize, professor. I’m fine,” Hermione said tightly, turning away from Draco and keeping her eyes on her work for the rest of the lesson.

After the bell went she shot out of the classroom before Draco had a chance to say two words to her, and he resigned himself to the fact that he had indeed done something wrong, and the best way to handle the situation was to ignore Hermione until she got over it.

***

“What’s wrong, Malfoy?”

“Nothing.”

“You sure? Because it looks like something’s wrong.”

“I’m fine, Blaise. Just shut up.”

Blaise’s eyes narrowed. “I am not Crabbe or Goyle, and I resent being told to shut up by you,” he snapped, but Draco just ignored him.

They were sitting in Potions, listening to Slughorn drone on and on about lethal poisons found in nature, but Draco didn’t care.

“Now,” Slughorn said, clearing his throat to mean it was time for the practical part of the double lesson to start, “I will separate you into partners, and you will work on figuring out and making the antidote to one of the poisons I have up here.” He began to waddle around the classroom, pairing people as he went. Blaise ended up with Potter and Ernie McMillan was paired with Weasel. “Ah, Mr Malfoy, you can work with Miss Granger.”

Draco scowled. He had been hoping not to be paired with her. She walked over to him after noting that he was obviously in a sour mood and had no intention of moving to her.

“Look, I’m sorry about this morning, Draco. I was just in a bad mood,” Hermione said, eyeing him apprehensively.

“Obviously,” he drawled, keeping his eyes forward.

“You didn’t do anything, okay?”

“Fine by me, it isn’t like I care anyway, mudblood.”

Hermione’s eyes filled with tears, and Draco’s eyes widened in shock. He hadn’t meant to say that, it had just slipped out.

“Wait, no! I didn’t mean-“ he started, but Hermione had already run out of the room, tears streaming down her face. “Shit,” he muttered to himself as Potter glared at him before running after Hermione.

A/N: Oooooh, drama, drama, drama! This chapter isn’t as long as I had hoped, but you got your kiss! I also didn’t expect to get it out as soon as I did, but I needed to finish it before I could focus on anything else. I’m like that – once I start a project I get so absorbed in it I can’t focus on anything else. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that, and please R&R.